World domination and the benign dictator!

Last week, following a helluva week in the news, where there was pandemonium in several countries that looked ripe for revolutions, I had planned to tell you about my plans for world domination...
It was a simple plan really, start with Tunisia and establish a base for said world domination (Tunisia is a great place to start, nice climate, oodles of history, nice beaches, the med and an old unpopular leader), then take Ireland to secure the source of Guiness (Brain food), followed by Cote d'Ivoire (Cocoa - read chocolate), then move on to Zimbabwe (just because it deserves to be sorted out and the Yanks are really rather busy...) and then kind of lay back and reap the rewards of being in charge of a modest empire (this empire building should be fun too you know)... I say modest empire because, as in business, when you get big, you tend to get noticed and that ends up in things like cold wars (mildly reminiscent of a playground tantrum where the two parties don't talk over break time and amass their allies through coercion with large amounts of candy...) - most unpleasant really... Yes, the tall poppy syndrome extends to empire building too...
Well that plan went out the window... It has been replaced by an even grander vision!

You see, since last week, the Tunisian government has fallen and in the news this week there are rumblings from no less than 6 different arab governments including Algeria, Jordan, Lebanon, Egypt, Iran and Yemen (really ripe for a revolution!)... Need I point out that this region is the cradle of civilisation? Ok, the diet may have to change a little from the previos plan but I am quite partial to Lebanese wine and Hommus... Come to think of it, three of the PIGS (Portugal, Greece and Spain are teetering on the brink of financial collapse, maybe we should add them to the list?) Makes you think doesn't it?
In all seriousness though, I think the world is ripe for a revolution... In the arab world, these people are fighting for freedom of speech, expression, democracy and progress, all of which we supposedly have in the West and yet, whilst people there are polarised in opposition to their governments or galvanised into action against them for the lack of progress, we in the West are largely apathetic and silent about our own governments. To add insult to injury, our own dysfunctional governments have been meddling in the affairs of others while Rome burned so to speak. Our nations are characterised by voter apathy and abstention. Our democracies are in gridlock with largely equal numbers in power and opposition and several of these are, or were, coalition governments (UK, Australia) which don't seem to be very effective... I really hate that opposition nowadays means that your task is to heartily oppose every piece of legislation mooted by the other side. Wouldn't it be refreshing and remarkable if an opposition leader one day stood up and said 'By jove - that's a great idea!' and proceeded to pass said piece of legislation in a timely fashion with minimal debate (in much the same way as they approve their own pay rises)? I'm sure that the forefathers of democracy didn't intend for it to turn out this way?! What happened to inspirational leaders like Gandhi? Why do we always end up with sallow skinned, grey haired, bland old bastards?
Enter the inspirational benign dictator! You see, my vision pans out something like this... I'd be swept to power in one of these beleagured countries on a wave of popular support with a big enough majority to change some of the rules in order to let me get the job done with minimal debate. The normal democratic process could continue largely unhindered but we'd introduce some things to ' positively motivate' the politicians - really hard benches in Parliament... Homework... Pay cuts... A time lapse period on pieces of new legislation (like a best before date - if not agreed by this date - shred). An acquaintance of mine reckons that for every new piece of legislation introduced they should take one away - that might work... People would get results in real time... I would get re-elected in perpetuity and the world could be peachy...
So first worlders, join the masses, stand up - it's time for a revolution!